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Lady Sapho L. Byron
NPCs
Rumpleteazer
Reference Pages
Character Sheet | Mailbox | Lodging |Boadicea's | Bibliography of Selected Works | The Starveling Cat! | ROLEPLAYING GUIDE
Alternate Universe Sapho
Aug. 16th, 2017 06:35 pmHave you ever wondered how your DF character(s) would translate into Chaosium’s Call of Cthulhu (5th ed) roleplaying game? Probably you have not. But in a fit of nerdness I worked up Sapho and Row as CoC characters.
STR, CON, INT, and DEX are self-explanatory; APP is Appearance (good-lookingness); and POW is Power (in DF, I interpret this as willpower). I assume that for almost all humans each of these stats ranges from 3 to 18 and these numbers in the population are distributed in a bell curve thusly:
SIZ is Size and CoC gives these examples: SIZ 1 = 1-12 lbs; 4 = 38-51 lbs; 8 = 109-120 lbs; 12 = 156-168 lbs; 16 = 220-239 lbs; 20 = 310-338 lbs.
The value of EDU is roughly equivalent to years of formal schooling or, more broadly, past studiousness.
Hit Points are determined by averaging CON and SIZ. Damage Bonus derived from a combination of STR and SIZ. Idea, Luck, and Know are percent chance of succeeding in generic relevant situations. These are set as INT, POW, and EDU x 5. Sanity (SAN) can be vaguely correlated with resistance to Nightmares, but I’m too lazy to do that; it is set at POW x5. Magic Points are not particularly relevant, but they are equal to POW.
Skills are the percent chance of succeeding in exercising the skill in non-trivial situations.
So here are my concepts (with some wiggle room assumed) for Sapho and Row in CoC.
STR, CON, INT, and DEX are self-explanatory; APP is Appearance (good-lookingness); and POW is Power (in DF, I interpret this as willpower). I assume that for almost all humans each of these stats ranges from 3 to 18 and these numbers in the population are distributed in a bell curve thusly:
SIZ is Size and CoC gives these examples: SIZ 1 = 1-12 lbs; 4 = 38-51 lbs; 8 = 109-120 lbs; 12 = 156-168 lbs; 16 = 220-239 lbs; 20 = 310-338 lbs.
The value of EDU is roughly equivalent to years of formal schooling or, more broadly, past studiousness.
Hit Points are determined by averaging CON and SIZ. Damage Bonus derived from a combination of STR and SIZ. Idea, Luck, and Know are percent chance of succeeding in generic relevant situations. These are set as INT, POW, and EDU x 5. Sanity (SAN) can be vaguely correlated with resistance to Nightmares, but I’m too lazy to do that; it is set at POW x5. Magic Points are not particularly relevant, but they are equal to POW.
Skills are the percent chance of succeeding in exercising the skill in non-trivial situations.
So here are my concepts (with some wiggle room assumed) for Sapho and Row in CoC.
For a short while in the Spring of 1895, one could find, if one were the sort to visit not-entirely-respectable purveyors of books, a slim volume bound in red leather and embossed, simply, with Poems. If one were to open said book, one would learn that it was authored by Lady Sapho L. Byron. The table of contents of said book are reproduced below; included, for the benefits of those not in possession of said book, are annotations.
[ooc: If your character has the initials B.M., C.d.W., D.W., E.D., I.J., J.S., K.A., L.M., M., M.B., N.A.-F., O.S., S.A.-F., Q.Q., or V.R. a signed copy has been sent to him, her, or it.]
Bandages
In which a Tomb Colonists muses on the meaninglessness of a slowly decaying life. In the end, he sits passively as the years first cover him with dust and then transform him into dust.
Cats
In which the poet celebrates the family Felidae, from its smallest to largest members with particular attention to domestic (not domesticated!) cats, ocelots, and tigers.
Valkyries
In which the poet treats her subject matter in the métier for which she is best known.
Heroes
In which the meeting of Alexander of Macedon and Diogenes of Sinope is portrayed.
Poets
In which the poet dreams of meeting Sappho of Lesbos. The two disport vigorously.
Viands
In which a lavish breakfast of Surface victuals is minutely and deliciously detailed.
Delights
Coffee, a cozy fire, and a good book.
Dances
A poem in three parts, in which the poet contrasts the movements and rhythms of the waltz, the galop, and the tarantella.
Pools
In which the poet describes her physical sensations of swimming in a cool forest pool below a waterfall and in a warm mountain spring. One may infer the narrator is sans habiliments.
Waters
In which the heroine rescues, from a Neath-filling deluge, seven pairs of each animal by building an enormous zubmarine. Eventually the flood recedes and the Neath is repopulated.
Buoys
In which parallels are drawn between the utter loneliness of the light-buoys and the utter loneliness of the human condition, viz., that ultimately, all women and men are alone.
Charcharodons
A poem about sharks.
Oysters
In which the poet explores the many ways and delights of eating oysters.
Pearls
In which the poet expounds upon the beauty of an oyster’s enfolded jewel.
Stones
In which the poet’s tears at her parents’ death are unshed. They fossilize inside her; eventually tiring from their stony weight, she herself dies.
Strata
In which a certain physiological process is described, in Huttonian terms, as the formation of geological strata … but in which the theory of Catastrophism is not entirely rejected.
Mirrors
In which the poet takes as her lovers her reflections in a room of mirrors. Descending from ecstasies (described in rather more detail than is entirely appropriate), she finds she can no longer tell if she is real or if she is a reflection of some other’s real self.
Ghosts
In which the phantoms of a haunted mansion are reveled to be, in truth, a brigade of clever Rattus fabers.
Cards
In which the poet visits a sibyl and asks her to casts London’s fortune. Revealed are the Five of Cats, the Nine of Mirrors, the Neath.
Ode to the Pre-Emptive Guinea-Pig, Asleep
Oh laconic missile so brightly gleaming,
Of shattered foes so sweetly dreaming,
Nestled deep within my pocket,
Ready ever, my deadly rocket,
etc., etc.
[ooc: If your character has the initials B.M., C.d.W., D.W., E.D., I.J., J.S., K.A., L.M., M., M.B., N.A.-F., O.S., S.A.-F., Q.Q., or V.R. a signed copy has been sent to him, her, or it.]
Bandages
In which a Tomb Colonists muses on the meaninglessness of a slowly decaying life. In the end, he sits passively as the years first cover him with dust and then transform him into dust.
Cats
In which the poet celebrates the family Felidae, from its smallest to largest members with particular attention to domestic (not domesticated!) cats, ocelots, and tigers.
Valkyries
In which the poet treats her subject matter in the métier for which she is best known.
Heroes
In which the meeting of Alexander of Macedon and Diogenes of Sinope is portrayed.
Poets
In which the poet dreams of meeting Sappho of Lesbos. The two disport vigorously.
Viands
In which a lavish breakfast of Surface victuals is minutely and deliciously detailed.
Delights
Coffee, a cozy fire, and a good book.
Dances
A poem in three parts, in which the poet contrasts the movements and rhythms of the waltz, the galop, and the tarantella.
Pools
In which the poet describes her physical sensations of swimming in a cool forest pool below a waterfall and in a warm mountain spring. One may infer the narrator is sans habiliments.
Waters
In which the heroine rescues, from a Neath-filling deluge, seven pairs of each animal by building an enormous zubmarine. Eventually the flood recedes and the Neath is repopulated.
Buoys
In which parallels are drawn between the utter loneliness of the light-buoys and the utter loneliness of the human condition, viz., that ultimately, all women and men are alone.
Charcharodons
A poem about sharks.
Oysters
In which the poet explores the many ways and delights of eating oysters.
Pearls
In which the poet expounds upon the beauty of an oyster’s enfolded jewel.
Stones
In which the poet’s tears at her parents’ death are unshed. They fossilize inside her; eventually tiring from their stony weight, she herself dies.
Strata
In which a certain physiological process is described, in Huttonian terms, as the formation of geological strata … but in which the theory of Catastrophism is not entirely rejected.
Mirrors
In which the poet takes as her lovers her reflections in a room of mirrors. Descending from ecstasies (described in rather more detail than is entirely appropriate), she finds she can no longer tell if she is real or if she is a reflection of some other’s real self.
Ghosts
In which the phantoms of a haunted mansion are reveled to be, in truth, a brigade of clever Rattus fabers.
Cards
In which the poet visits a sibyl and asks her to casts London’s fortune. Revealed are the Five of Cats, the Nine of Mirrors, the Neath.
Ode to the Pre-Emptive Guinea-Pig, Asleep
Oh laconic missile so brightly gleaming,
Of shattered foes so sweetly dreaming,
Nestled deep within my pocket,
Ready ever, my deadly rocket,
etc., etc.
A New Poem from Lady Sapho L. Byron
Apr. 27th, 2017 04:24 pmA new poem, entitled 'Neighbors,' has been published by Lady Sapho L. Byron in La Voix du Cœur. The gist of it is this:
An Urchin was going from Veilgarden to Spite on Toothsome Road when he was attacked by robbers. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him and went away, leaving him half dead. A bishop happened to be going down the same road, and when he saw the Urchin, he passed by on the other side. “The poor will always be with us,” he reasoned, and after all, he was on his way to put some Devils in their place. So too, a Temperance Campaigner when she came by, passed the Urchin on the other side. She had an important rally to lead. But a Clayman, missing his right hand and half his face, as he traveled, came where the Urchin was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him. He went to him and bandaged his wounds and plied him with F. F. Gebrandt’s Tincture of Vigor. Then he picked up the Urchin, carried him to an orphanage, and took care of him. The next day he took out two Nodules of Trembling Amber and gave them to the head of the orphanage. "Look after him," he said, "and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have."
Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the Urchin who fell into the hands of robbers?
An Urchin was going from Veilgarden to Spite on Toothsome Road when he was attacked by robbers. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him and went away, leaving him half dead. A bishop happened to be going down the same road, and when he saw the Urchin, he passed by on the other side. “The poor will always be with us,” he reasoned, and after all, he was on his way to put some Devils in their place. So too, a Temperance Campaigner when she came by, passed the Urchin on the other side. She had an important rally to lead. But a Clayman, missing his right hand and half his face, as he traveled, came where the Urchin was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him. He went to him and bandaged his wounds and plied him with F. F. Gebrandt’s Tincture of Vigor. Then he picked up the Urchin, carried him to an orphanage, and took care of him. The next day he took out two Nodules of Trembling Amber and gave them to the head of the orphanage. "Look after him," he said, "and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have."
Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the Urchin who fell into the hands of robbers?
EBZwrites: A Dream of Wine and Dead Men
Jan. 17th, 2017 08:17 pmSapho wakes up from the dream …
And realizes she actually is in a dark ballroom lined with mirrors. Dead men and women wrapped in bandages stand around, glasses of wine in hand. No one says anything. Very occasionally someone coughs.
"Blast."
Why? she thinks, Oh why, did I accept an invitation to Mr Stanton's deathday party?
Sapho sighs.
And, not wishing to be viewed as standoffish, coughs.
And realizes she actually is in a dark ballroom lined with mirrors. Dead men and women wrapped in bandages stand around, glasses of wine in hand. No one says anything. Very occasionally someone coughs.
"Blast."
Why? she thinks, Oh why, did I accept an invitation to Mr Stanton's deathday party?
Sapho sighs.
And, not wishing to be viewed as standoffish, coughs.
Dr. Frank-n-Furter (a scientist): Karin Adelswärd
Janet Weiss (a heroine): Olive Shepherd
Brad Majors (a hero): Eskil Douglas
Riff Raff (a handyman): Rodrigo Navas Vega
Magenta (a domestic): Sapho L. Byron
Columbia (a groupie): Irene Jenkins
Dr. Everett V. Scott (a rival scientist): Clifford Ivers
Rocky Horror (a creation): Bartholomaew Medvedev
Eddie (ex delivery boy): Jack
The Criminologist (an expert): Nathan Attford-Fenwick
Lips!!
Janet Weiss (a heroine): Olive Shepherd
Brad Majors (a hero): Eskil Douglas
Riff Raff (a handyman): Rodrigo Navas Vega
Magenta (a domestic): Sapho L. Byron
Columbia (a groupie): Irene Jenkins
Dr. Everett V. Scott (a rival scientist): Clifford Ivers
Rocky Horror (a creation): Bartholomaew Medvedev
Eddie (ex delivery boy): Jack
The Criminologist (an expert): Nathan Attford-Fenwick
Lips!!
The Bishop of Southwark ruthlessly tramples Urchins and the destitute as he races to embrace a cross, held up, secretly, by a Devil.
The Jovial Contrarian is a puppet master manipulating his followers to frantically run first one way, then another, then back in the first direction.
A deacon presents the Bishop with Aristotle’s Nicomachean Ethics, the Bishop tears off his vestments and wrestles the book to the ground. “No, My Lord, you are supposed to read it,” the deacon says. “Reed it?” The Bishop appears to be utterly baffled by the suggestion.
The Contrarian presents guests at his dinner table with empty dishes, describing it a sumptuous feast. His guests “eat” with gusto, proclaiming how wonderful everything is.
A great crowd watches Sinning Jenny, the Bishop, and the Contrarian perform circus acrobatics. At the edge of the crowd, a young woman stands slightly apart; she alone has her eyes turned to the Bazaar, towering in the background.
The Jovial Contrarian is a puppet master manipulating his followers to frantically run first one way, then another, then back in the first direction.
A deacon presents the Bishop with Aristotle’s Nicomachean Ethics, the Bishop tears off his vestments and wrestles the book to the ground. “No, My Lord, you are supposed to read it,” the deacon says. “Reed it?” The Bishop appears to be utterly baffled by the suggestion.
The Contrarian presents guests at his dinner table with empty dishes, describing it a sumptuous feast. His guests “eat” with gusto, proclaiming how wonderful everything is.
A great crowd watches Sinning Jenny, the Bishop, and the Contrarian perform circus acrobatics. At the edge of the crowd, a young woman stands slightly apart; she alone has her eyes turned to the Bazaar, towering in the background.
Sapho climbs up from the basement, sweaty, grimy, tired, and her neck is killing her! How do people go about in these blasted iron hats?! Using both hands, she lifts it off her head (thankfully she has been following Mr Medvedev’s prescribed exercise regime!) and drops it on a nearby table with a substantial THUNK. She shakes off her Spiderchitin Gauntlets, removes the Neathglass Goggles, and finally she pushes damp curls from forehead.
It wasn’t terribly pleasant, that basement expedition, but at least she knows there are no Sorrow Spiders or Spider Councils down there. And she did find those missing black gauze bloomers. How in the Neath did they end up behind the preserves? … Oh, right … Sapho ruefully shakes her head and chuckles.
It wasn’t terribly pleasant, that basement expedition, but at least she knows there are no Sorrow Spiders or Spider Councils down there. And she did find those missing black gauze bloomers. How in the Neath did they end up behind the preserves? … Oh, right … Sapho ruefully shakes her head and chuckles.
Drabble: A Rainy Day
Apr. 14th, 2016 05:13 pmRain -- or "rain," this is the Neath after all -- patters on the window pane and chill humidity creeps in through cracks and unpatched crevices. Sapho could go out today, but she had almost no sleep last night, and she doesn't particularly want to be dressed in more than one layer or do anything with her hair and who wants to get drenched anyways (never mind that on other days she has laughed and danced in the rain)?
The matter is decided. Sapho adds an arm load of logs to the fire, pulls the davenport close to it and nestles under a heavy comforter with Ivanhoe.
Soon, she is joined by Rumpleteazer, who, in her keen and catly wisdom, understands that what her human needs now is a black scarf. Sapho sets aside her book and induces a rumbling purr with light scratching in Just the Right Spot behind Teazer's left ear. And then, without even realizing it, everyone drifts off into a long, deep, and delicious nap.
The matter is decided. Sapho adds an arm load of logs to the fire, pulls the davenport close to it and nestles under a heavy comforter with Ivanhoe.
Soon, she is joined by Rumpleteazer, who, in her keen and catly wisdom, understands that what her human needs now is a black scarf. Sapho sets aside her book and induces a rumbling purr with light scratching in Just the Right Spot behind Teazer's left ear. And then, without even realizing it, everyone drifts off into a long, deep, and delicious nap.
Scene Seeds I: Jenson, Middy
Apr. 11th, 2016 05:12 pmTo amuse myself I am writing the beginning of scenes with other LJ characters. I do not intended them to be cannon nor do I intend that anything at all should be done with them (although I hope they entertain) ... but if you wanted to pick up the story ...
Jenson:
Commander Shepherd holds a photograph of a photograph. The original photograph depicts a small kangaroo—two, perhaps two and half, feet tall—made of a lustrous metal. It sits on a table of what appears to be a workroom.
Looking up, he asks, “The photograph was the only thing in the drop?”
“Yes,” his contact answers, “and I left in place, just as you instructed.”
“Very good, then.” The arranged fee is transferred.
And the Command is left wondering what, exactly, this is supposed to mean.
Middy:
Middy feels a tug on her trouser cuff … which, although not entirely unexpected at midnight in the Fourth Coil, is nevertheless a surprise.
Looking down reveals a blemmigan, on tendril gives another tug, another tendril offers up a folded piece of paper.
Taking the packet and opening it, reveals it to be a note, written with exquisite penmanship.
Dear Ms Midnight,
We would like to hire you to kill a monster. His name is John Sneed.
A. R. Rumpsten, Fungal Protection Society, President
Below, neatly labeled John Sneed, is the portrait of jowly man with thinning hair and a bulbous nose.
Jenson:
Commander Shepherd holds a photograph of a photograph. The original photograph depicts a small kangaroo—two, perhaps two and half, feet tall—made of a lustrous metal. It sits on a table of what appears to be a workroom.
Looking up, he asks, “The photograph was the only thing in the drop?”
“Yes,” his contact answers, “and I left in place, just as you instructed.”
“Very good, then.” The arranged fee is transferred.
And the Command is left wondering what, exactly, this is supposed to mean.
Middy:
Middy feels a tug on her trouser cuff … which, although not entirely unexpected at midnight in the Fourth Coil, is nevertheless a surprise.
Looking down reveals a blemmigan, on tendril gives another tug, another tendril offers up a folded piece of paper.
Taking the packet and opening it, reveals it to be a note, written with exquisite penmanship.
Dear Ms Midnight,
We would like to hire you to kill a monster. His name is John Sneed.
A. R. Rumpsten, Fungal Protection Society, President
Below, neatly labeled John Sneed, is the portrait of jowly man with thinning hair and a bulbous nose.
OOC: SEVEN Degrees of Separation
Jan. 14th, 2016 05:45 pmFallen London LiveJournal Social Network for 2015. Lines represent logs between characters; the thicker the line, the more shared logs. Jenson-Olive have the most at 16. The larger the circle, the more different people that character has logged with. Bequi has the most at 13.
Because I am lazy I did not include logs with more than two characters or (gods forbid!) party posts.
Oh yeah, I also counted back-to-back Part I, Part II posts as a single post.
Because I am lazy I did not include logs with more than two characters or (gods forbid!) party posts.
Oh yeah, I also counted back-to-back Part I, Part II posts as a single post.
Drabble: A Journal Entry (30 Dec 1893)
Dec. 30th, 2015 10:33 amToday had two cups of Correspondence Coffee back to back … I saw the sigils right before me! Not out of the corner of my eyes! And they arrayed to form a poem—or perhaps my mind arrayed them so. A poem of sorts, at any rate ... or not really a poem, but that is the closest word I have for what it was. I wrote it down but just before I finished, I passed out. When I woke, the paper I wrote the 'poem' on was burned up and I could not recall any of it. And now I have a horrid headache.
Drabble: First Lacre of the Winter
Dec. 5th, 2015 02:24 pmYoung Annabelle Wynn, standing at the window of her parents' Small Study, watches the blizzard’s rage.
In the bleak midwinter, frosty wind made moan,
Earth stood hard as iron, water like a stone;
Snow had fallen, snow on snow, snow on snow,
Still facing the window she says, smiling, “Lotte, you shan’t be able to make it home tonight.”
“Drat!” her friend laughs from the divan, pulled close to the roaring fire.
Annabelle turns to look at her … Lotte drawing in her sketchbook, Lotte with red hair and green eyes illumined by warm flames. She could be my older sister. Thank the goddess she is not!
“You’re smiling Annie, what are you thinking, hmmm?” Lotte asks with her crooked, knowing grin.
Annabelle's eyes never leave Lotte's as she answers, as she steps from window to divan. “I will worship my beloved with a kiss.”
Soon the sketchbook is forgotten.
---
With a sigh, Sapho turns into her cold and empty study; turns away from her lacre-kissed window, from the bleak midwinter, long ago.
In the bleak midwinter, frosty wind made moan,
Earth stood hard as iron, water like a stone;
Snow had fallen, snow on snow, snow on snow,
Still facing the window she says, smiling, “Lotte, you shan’t be able to make it home tonight.”
“Drat!” her friend laughs from the divan, pulled close to the roaring fire.
Annabelle turns to look at her … Lotte drawing in her sketchbook, Lotte with red hair and green eyes illumined by warm flames. She could be my older sister. Thank the goddess she is not!
“You’re smiling Annie, what are you thinking, hmmm?” Lotte asks with her crooked, knowing grin.
Annabelle's eyes never leave Lotte's as she answers, as she steps from window to divan. “I will worship my beloved with a kiss.”
Soon the sketchbook is forgotten.
---
With a sigh, Sapho turns into her cold and empty study; turns away from her lacre-kissed window, from the bleak midwinter, long ago.
OOC: Playlist
Nov. 22nd, 2015 01:32 pmSapho's playlist. Some of these are NSFW. Also, the music is much better than the videos (listen, don't watch, is a good rule of thumb).
Girls Just Want To Have Fun – Cyndi Lauper
Call Me Maybe – Carly Rae Jepsen
Take A Chance On Me – ABBA
Do You Wanna Dance – The Beach Boys
Kiss the Girl – The Little Mermaid
Chick-A-Boom – Van Morrison
I Kissed a Girl - Jill Sobule
Shadows of the Night – Pat Benatar
Milkshake – Kelis
My Humps – The Black Eyed Peas
Shoop –Salt-N-Pepa
She Bop – Cyndi Lauper
I Touch Myself – Divinyls
Crazy on You – Heart
Boom Clap – Charli XCX
#1 Crush – Garbage
E.T. – Katy Perry
Maneater - Nelly Furtado
Hella Good – No Doubt
Damn I Wish I Was Your Lover – Sophie B. Hawkins
Son of a Preacher Man – Joan Osborne
Take My Breath Away – Berlin
Misguided Angel – Cowboy Junkies
Rose of Sharon - Eliza Gilkyson
Kiss Me – Sixpence None the Richer
Then He Kissed Me – The Crystals
Girls Just Want To Have Fun – Cyndi Lauper
Call Me Maybe – Carly Rae Jepsen
Take A Chance On Me – ABBA
Do You Wanna Dance – The Beach Boys
Kiss the Girl – The Little Mermaid
Chick-A-Boom – Van Morrison
I Kissed a Girl - Jill Sobule
Shadows of the Night – Pat Benatar
Milkshake – Kelis
My Humps – The Black Eyed Peas
Shoop –Salt-N-Pepa
She Bop – Cyndi Lauper
I Touch Myself – Divinyls
Crazy on You – Heart
Boom Clap – Charli XCX
#1 Crush – Garbage
E.T. – Katy Perry
Maneater - Nelly Furtado
Hella Good – No Doubt
Damn I Wish I Was Your Lover – Sophie B. Hawkins
Son of a Preacher Man – Joan Osborne
Take My Breath Away – Berlin
Misguided Angel – Cowboy Junkies
Rose of Sharon - Eliza Gilkyson
Kiss Me – Sixpence None the Richer
Then He Kissed Me – The Crystals
The Dangers of Hallowmas Costumes
Oct. 26th, 2015 06:57 pmAn Excerpt from and Entry in Sapho's Notebook:
01-November-1893
Open-chested costumes were quite the thing this Hallowmas, for the men, that is. How I can I wear such a costume or garment--without having to run off to the Colonies afterword? I must call upon Ms. Fnord for advice.
01-November-1893
Open-chested costumes were quite the thing this Hallowmas, for the men, that is. How I can I wear such a costume or garment--without having to run off to the Colonies afterword? I must call upon Ms. Fnord for advice.
